top of page

Milton Bear

Copyright © 2012, Martyn Adams. All Rights Reserved.


Milton Gregorialitious Papa Bear is my friend

Anyway, that is what I like to pretend

He lives with me in my two-bedroom flat

But he doesn’t say much

        … not in the way of chit-chat


He’s a rare Siberian Grey Bear

And that, you must admit, has a certain flair

But although more than a foot shorter than me

I must take special care,

        … he has the strength of three


He likes jammin’ on my guitar at night

And gives the neighbours such a fright

Of course, if they tried to complain

Well, you can imagine,

        He’s difficult for me to restrain


And if you knew much about Milton's diet

It would leave you with a sense of disgust and disquiet

He was once in a pub trying to get to the bar

But too many oiks,

        So, he didn’t get far.


Subsequently and with great panache he farted,

That crowd soon turned green and departed


You see he’ll take crap from no-one

In fact, dealing s**t is his idea of fun

Many a time he’s seen running from the police

After poking the lardy arses of the obese

And whenever he sees an officer of Law

He can’t give them The Finger,

          But, he happily gives them - The Claw

bottom of page